Testing Altec Lansing’s Everythingproof Bluetooth Speakers: Do They Break?

We Put Altec Lansing’s Everythingproof Bluetooth Speakers To The Test—Will They Break?

When it comes to outdoor adventures, music can be the soundtrack to your fun. Whether you are throwing a backyard barbecue, heading to the beach, or embarking on a camping trip, having a reliable Bluetooth speaker to keep the tunes flowing is essential. But what if your speaker isn’t just facing the ordinary challenges of a lively day outside? What happens when it has to dodge the waves of the ocean, the refreshing splash of a pool party, and the occasional tumble from a picnic table? That’s where Altec Lansing’s Everythingproof Bluetooth speakers come into play, designed specifically to tackle all of these hurdles.

To see whether these speakers really live up to their “everythingproof” name, we put them through a rigorous series of tests. Think of it as the “Boot Camp for Speakers” scenario—complete with involuntary waterboarding and bouncing-off-the-table moments. Trust us, it was as stressful for the speakers as it was entertaining for us.

First on our agenda was the waterproof test. Many Bluetooth speakers claim to be water-resistant, but Altec Lansing’s products are specifically rated IP67. This means they can withstand being submerged in up to three feet of water for 30 minutes without a hitch. So, we decided to do the unthinkable—take them to a swimming pool. With a friend serving as the official tester, we plopped the speakers into the water, our breaths held tightly. Would it bubble and die, or would it serenade us from the depths?

As soon as it hit the water, our onlookers gasped, and we couldn’t help but feel like scientific pioneers. The speakers bobbed for a moment, before curling up like a floating buoy, continuing to blast out some killer summer jams. Three minutes underwater felt like an eternity, but when we pulled them out, they were still singing a perfect pitch—all systems go. “These speakers are like the confident swimmers of the group,” joked Alex, our test subject, “they just don’t care! Bring on the waves!”

Next, we needed to account for the “everythingproof” aspect regarding shock resistance, which in our case meant a series of awkwardly fun experiments. Picture this: we had our speakers perched on a picnic table, pumping out tunes in full force, when one of our friends tripped over a rogue tree root. Down went the table, down went the speakers! We gasped collectively, like a horror movie cast witnessing a dreadful fate.

With a crash that resonated like a mini earthquake, the speaker hit the ground. We stared at it, half-expecting to see parts fly off like in some cartoon—think Wile E. Coyote. But much to our relief, the speaker remained intact, almost as if it had an ego to protect. It continued playing as if nothing had happened. Our friend Jason laughed, saying, “That’s the kind of resilience I want in a relationship!” However, we had to draw the line and stop using it as an ice-breaking device in future gatherings.

Our next test put the “everythingproof” claim to the sound test—quite literally! For this, we gathered our band of merry testers and took the speakers on a hike. We wanted to see whether the sound quality would still impress amidst chirping birds, rustling leaves, and the occasional grunt of a fellow hiker. At a scenic overlook, we set the speakers down and cranked up the volume.

To our utter delight, they projected music that wrapped around us like a warm blanket, cutting through nature’s symphony without breaking a sweat. James, our music aficionado, commented, “I could get used to this! It’s like having a portable party wherever we go.” The bass was surprisingly rich, and we couldn’t help but join in a little spontaneous dance session. It was precisely the kind of scene you see in a commercial, complete with dramatic shots of the sun setting in the background.

Lastly, we couldn’t ignore the “wow” factor when it came to battery life. There’s nothing worse than being in the middle of a gathering when your speaker dramatically dies on you. Altec Lansing’s Everythingproof speaker boasts up to 16 hours of playtime. So, we decided to put that claim to the test in our marathon listening session. We kicked it off bright-eyed in the morning with breakfast tunes, slowly transitioning through brunch hits to a wild afternoon playlist.

As the sun began to set and our voices got hoarse from singing along, we were amazed to find that the music never stopped. Eight hours later, the battery indicator was still holding strong. “I think I need this speaker in my life permanently,” piped up Lisa, “it’s just like a solid friend who never leaves you hanging—unless procured to go swimming, that is.”

While we can’t speak to how it would perform on year-long camping trips in the remote wilderness, we can say that Altec Lansing’s Everythingproof speakers passed our entertaining little test with flying colors. They nearly gave our tech-savvy hearts a collective high-five with each successful challenge—enough to feel confident that they truly are the everythingproof companions they claim to be.

In a world where devices can feel fragile, ranging from flimsy phones to delicate tablets, it’s refreshing to encounter products that add a whimsical flair without sacrificing quality. So go ahead and take the plunge—literally! Just maybe keep those daredevil friends away from the speakers during happy hour.